Saint’s First Birthday
Mhmmm—this might be a short entry.
Or maybe not.
Let’s see where this goes.
It’s 1:02 AM. Gabby and I just wrapped up a party for Saint’s first birthday, and WOW—we were running around like crazy. From pressure-washing the patio to making sure every little detail was perfect, to Gabby making five different store runs in a single day just to get everything we needed… all for a RODEO-STYLE party.
And let me tell you—it was worth it.
Sure, the theme was rodeo, but with a few fun twists:
🔥 The food? Hawaiian.
🎵 The DJ? Dropping hip-hop gems.
🌊 And to top it all off? A full-on pool party.
Growing up in Homestead, I used to wonder what life would look like when I was finally an “adult.”
And now? I’m living the exact life I once dreamed of. Brick by brick, it’s everything I imagined. A beautiful partner. A beautiful son. Two dogs. Fun cars. Family all around me.
Today was one of those dream days. The kind of day my 15-year-old self would be so damn proud of.
Would I trade this life for anything? Not a chance.
Today marks one full year of Gabby being a mother. One full year of me being a father. And one full year of pure joy with Saint.
It honestly makes me emotional knowing that he’s walking now. It feels like just yesterday we were in the hospital meeting him for the first time. When parents say time flies, they mean it.
So please—listen to them.
And what gets me the most? Saint isn’t just growing physically—he’s becoming his own little person. He shows emotions now—he laughs when we laugh, he pouts when he doesn’t get his way, and he lights up when he sees us. He loves hugs, peekaboo, and playtime.
Seeing him develop his personality, his quirks, and his little habits is the greatest privilege of my life.
The life I lived before him was for myself and some hypothetical future.
But now? Saint and Gabby are my greatest joys.
This family is living proof of a merciful and wonderful God.
To everyone who showed up and gave love to our Saint, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much <3
2024 in review
Its christmas in 2024 - I feel like i graduated from using that darn red journal lol. For those that know me, I’ve been writing in journals for nearly a decade since I was 14 (i’m 23 now)
I have about 7% left on my laptop, sipping on woodford reserve and smoking a cigar.
I’m warning you - I might get a bit poetic by the end of this entry depending on where I am in my glass haha.
So i'm going to go through each month of the year and list out bullet points of each month.
Whether it be good or bad - if its memorable, it needs to be listed.
Hell - I might even post this on my blog.
Let’s give it a shot
January
My birthday
I was in north carolina
My time was spent very closely with Gabby. The excitement of the coming of saint was all over us
We were prepping his room and overall just prepping for it
Sianna was born (my brother’s daughter)
February
My job was threatened as my boss basically told me my performance was very poor. To be fair, life was kicking me and I WAS performing poorly.
I moved my workspace to the garage from my home office and turned that into Saint’s room
I lost 3 clients during this time.
Quite the month - I was pretty low mentally, financially and I also was so worried about the future of our family
I had a chat with God and I tested him. I screamed to Him - “If you say you will bless my 90% as long as I give you my 10% - then all be it, I am yours. Let’s see if you’re really about it.”
The thought of losing my job one month before Saint’s birth gripped me mentally. A dark cloud of anxiety rose over my head. I knew it was going to be okay but I knew my ego would be hurt.
Launched a mini project (zen zone) and got that to making a few hundred bucks per day, but I ended this in march because Sainty (((:. You can see the build out HERE.
Throughout being at a low, I doubled down on my giving to the church and to be frank after that decision, everything took a turn for the good
March
Saint was born (on the 15th)
This changed my life.
I had 2 weeks off for paternity leave but my dumb ass couldnt sit still. I found everything and anything to do but sit still with Saint. I’m not sure what it was, maybe it was me coming to terms that I am a father now but I knew that my life was not only for me now but for something bigger.
During these two weeks, I basically had 0 clients. I think this was God forcing me to not work.
Funny enough, after those 2 weeks - I got 2 new clients
God is a funny man
April:
This was a blur
I don't even know if i slept - worked - or who knows what
I felt like i was just trying to survive with building a business, performing well at work and being a dad - this was CRUNCH time. I learned so much about being a dad with pediatrician visits (some i wasnt even able to go to because of work).
May
I started to get a hang of it - it was still crazy juggling being a dad, good worker, and overall GOOD person
Gabby and I were so stuck in the thick of being parents
ALSO - i proposed to GABS - aka the love of my life
Sammy (my sister) started to live with us - this was overall good for the first month- but then on top of being a good husband, dad, worker - I had to remember how to be a brother again :/
I moved the workspace from the garage to the master bedroom because I was damn near getting a stroke in there HAHA (FL heat is no joke). The garage literally felt like a sauna.
Sainty was still sleeping in our room so there’s slight foreshadowing here
June
We went to Miami
Sainty first time at the beach - I wasnt there (i feel like i missed alot of stuff because of work ): )
I started to gain more clients here - work was progressing really fast
July
Still in thick of it haha
It was at this time I started to gain more clients
I moved the office back to the garage because i was waking saint up in the room with my loud ass keyboard and the bright screen. The occasional banging my head on the desk didn’t help either.
I couldn’t come to terms with the possibility of getting a heat stroke and decided to get a Swamp cooler
That kinda worked until it made the garage SO humid (at least like 80% humidity)
I did find a fix for this tho
August
I oddly do not remember this month except for WORK SLEEP and trying to spend time with family
I'm still trying to find balance - but i don't know who balance is and she’s kinda hard to find
September:
Work - work and family
I had SO Many brands reach out wanting to work with me (not to brag or anything)
I made the decision to leave my current job to become a Director of Acquistion at this fragrance brand
May i say… GROWTH and DIRECTOR??--- Crazy
Reflecting back on it, I learned so much at my last position. Those guys really took a chance on me and really gave me the opportunity to become a better marketer.
October:
We outgrew our home and said F it - lets end our lease and get a new home
The search began
Low and behold we found an amazing home
Work started picking up. Somehow I scaled the agency from only making 7k per month to 20k+ per month. It felt like my sacrifices started to pay off
Picked up an old beat up truck named Whiskey Teeter (1994 Bronco)
I think every man once in his life overestimates the work and time needed to rehab an old truck like that. It’s moving fine - but man SHE needs work.
November:
We moved into our new home
This home is BEAUTIFUL. Long driveway, nice garage, a pool and the house flooded with lots of sunlight.
Work was great at my new gig
Sainty started to REALLY crawl and hes showing emotion and overall being CONSCIOUS (WOW).
I hired my brother, and a media buyer to help me with my accounts and I started to work on the business and not be so much in the business
Started feeling the effects of having a 2 seater car (mustang) but not having a means to take Saint out whenever Gabby was working (slight foreshadowing)
December:
The month that we are in. Its only the 24th as i'm writing this but MAN this year was a whirlwind
May I say… I PICKED UP A 2024 BRONCO (not the sport the sport broncos are butt ugly (no offense))
Also hired a new analyst to help me on accounts (BIG WEIGHT OFF MY SHOULDERS)
Shoutout to my digital henchman
Gabby and I started to go back on dates. We learned not only to be mom and dad but to be a great husband and wife
Saint got caught with a bad case of a fever
This brought us back a bit
We were so scared. His fever peaked at 105 and the doctors couldnt figure out was wrong with him
Apparently he had a case of Ecoli and thats what caused his fever
We got to the hospital on a sunday and came out tuesday noon.
We were so afraid that we’d be spending our first christmas as a family in the hospital. The greatest gift we got was spending christmas morning in our home
The lesson here is that we can be so fixated on work and other things that we forget that life in itself is fragile and unpredictable. If you’re reading this, please go hug someone important to you.
We are still not done but we are here
In retrospect:
This year was probably one of those years where I questioned the life I lived the most. The thought of “what am I doing”, “is what I’m doing enough”, or “is the countless hours I spent working worth the time I lose that could’ve been spent with my son or with my wife”
Those thoughts ran rampant and to be honest, sometimes I questioned the existence of living. Not the fact that life in itself was hard but whether that the “hard life” is worth living for. I never grew up with a father and to be honest, this year was just one of those years where having one would’ve been REALLY nice.
“How do I balance work and family”, “ Want to work on the truck with me?” , “How do I raise a boy to a man”, “What do I do when life is hitting me across all angles.”
In the grand scheme of things - life isn’t about “what-ifs”.
It’s about “what we will do” and “what has been done”.
I’m happy that the thoughts of legacy and the thoughts of my loved ones kept me going. Most of all, the relationship I had with God was the driving force of everything. I knew that the darkness I felt deep in my heart at points only signaled a possibility of light.
That in itself is so true.
Every year has always been different but man this year was a year I will always remember.
For the past several years (tbh the past several months too), I spent trying to please the 13 year old boy in me.
That needs to change. For me to grow up to be the role model and father I needed - I need to live for Joshua that is on his deathbed who will know that the life he lived was worth it. Not only for him, but for the legacy he leaves behind.
To everyone reading this - I love you so much. I don’t have a platform so I know that those reading this are the ones who know me.
Cheers to a wonderful year
And most importantly cheers what life brings in 2025.
Always remember, if you feel like life is at rock bottom…
Logistically - there is only one direction you can go.
Which is up.
Also - sorry for kinda getting morbid and gay at the end. I’m doing okay - trust me. Woodford reserve is strong.
Warm Regards
Joshua from 2024